This happens far too often to annoy me as much as it does.

Or perhaps that’s the reason why I hate these people so?

People will often come into our store and ask for an item they saw on our website. When I say we don’t carry that, most of them will actually get offended. They follow this with: “Yes you do! It’s on your website! I saw it on there TODAY so where is it? when I tell them we don’t carry every item on our website, they act like this is the most stupid idea they have ever heard of. Why wouldn’t we? If our website has it, EVERY STORE SHOULD.

Nevermind the fact that our website has probably a million products on it, while our store is the size of a small Walmart.

As for today, I was putting a few items away in our cookware section when a small asian woman “called” several times for me to help her. I put quote there because I don’t consider the people who do this as actually calling. She was about 20 feet away and barely speaking over a whisper. I do hear her a time or two, but think she is talking to someone else. All I hear is: “oh, hello,” twice. Finally I realized someone is making a piss poor effort to get my attention when I hear: “Sir, can you help me?”

As I walk over, I see her looking at our Vitamix Blenders and her phone. She asks me: “Do you have five two zero zero?” I realized after asking her to repeat herself that she meant some model number. I look at the two models in front of her and say no.

She looks puzzled and asks me where the other Vitamix blenders are. I point out that those are our only two models. She looks confused then points at the rest of the blenders. “Do you have five two zero zero there?”

“No, these are the only vitamix blenders we carry. We may have more online, but this is all we have in store.

At this point she shows me her phone and is pointing to a vitamix blender on amazon. “This six three zero zero. This new. Five two zero zero old. Why you not carry 6300 or 5200?”

I try to explain that we just don’t have the space in store. That these are all we carry in the building. That the 25 blenders she sees is all we (barely) have space for. She seems to understand and agree… then follows with: “So where you keep five three zero zero? Oh, you no have? Nowhere? Ok that is ok thank you.”

Now I understand in this situation there was probably a slight language barrier, as she was struggling with her English… but native speakers don’t understand it either.

We have limited space and a ton of merchandise. How is it so hard to understand we can’t carry every model of every item in existence? If Mr. Coffee makes 50 different coffee makers… good for them. But you aren’t going to find ANY store that physically stocks 50 different models of one item… especially if there are other brands too.

Please.¬† Please…. STOP being stupid. ūüė¶

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You’ve been warned.

Why the FUCK would you pull RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME (right turn on red) when I’m going 45mph, and THEN give me the fucking bird when I honk my horn?

Not only that, but this sack of shit could’ve pulled into the right side lane… the turning lane. Instead she wildly flung her giant SUV in front of me because she couldn’t wait to go. She also sped up pretty slow for having needed to yank her vehicle in front of mine.

I really hate other drivers on the road. What a bunch of dumb meat sacks.

I say this as an American.

With the belief that I am one of a car load of Americans that actually understands how to drive in the things.

I could write 2 or 3 entries on my hatred of dealing with people in the things, as I have to use one every single time I go to work via the backroads (which is 99% of the time as it is always faster and ~8 miles shorter). But I believe today will be an almost finale-like entry that would make all others pointless.

Usually the problem is that no one else can tell where anyone is going. If they see a car in ANY section of the round-a-bout (including in front of them) they will stop and look around before finally creeping through as slowly as possible. It doesn’t matter if the person is 1 turn or 3 turns away, the moron in front of me will just freeze up in terror. Meanwhile I’m the only person I’ve ever seen able to tell if the person approaching my road is turning onto it or still circling. Apparently I must be a genius or have vision into the future, because no one else can tell that inside of turn = straight and outside = exiting. Generally I can alwats tell by their position, speed, and/or wheels. No one else can…. and I’ve never been wrong.

Each direction leading into the round-a-bout is 35mph. The speed limit of the round-a-bout is 15mph. Now I’ll admit… I drive too fast. I always go at least 4-5mph over the speed limit. I generally take the circle around a very fun 25mph minimum. Everyone else? About 5-7 mph.

Today came great fun via a person that took the cake… and then set it on fire.

The man in front of me saw the roud-a-bout he was approaching, and immediately started to slow down WAAYYYY too early. I guess he was confused and had no idea what it was. Now replace guess with “know for certain.” As he got to the round a bout, which was empty and had no cars visible in any direction, he came to a complete stop. He then sat there a moment, and looked left and right. Next, he turns on his blinker. After that? Looks left and right again.

Finally he rolls forward and begins his circle. I’m already foaming at the mouth by now, staring at the clock (quickly approaching the beginning of my shift) in between trying to eradicate his car with eye lasers. To make things worse, I realize he is going so slow my car can barely handle first gear. He wasn’t even going 5mph. Finally he gets to the second turn, the same one I need. Reaction? He stops, turns on his blinker, and then LOOKS BOTH WAYS. In a one way round a bout (which was still empty). Dear God, how does he manage to open the front door of his house?

He then finally leaves and drives the rest of the way at 25mph (including the section soon after where the speed limit goes up to 45.

I really don’t think it’s possible for doing worse. Yet I’m sure there are some people out there who stop at every turn and/or try to go the wrong way around. People are too stupid and incompetent not to.

Now I have to get back to my wonderful shift.

We had the other person in my half of the store call out.  On a Saturday.

This is the 9th time in a row my shift was screwed by a call out too.  Why?

A new cigar

Honestly, I could start almost any post about cigars with this, as I have only been smoking for about 1/4 of a year and have only smoked…. ¬†maybe 6 or 7 different types now?

 

Either way, after a long day, evening, and night working.. I decided to relax with a cigar and whiskey. ¬†I wanted to try a new cigar, so I picked out my Excalibur Epicurean in Robusto. ¬†I’ve had it for maybe a month now, found it as a buy one get one free and saw it had good reviews.

 

I was pretty happy with this one. ¬†I’ve never been able to pick out many tastes in cigars, so I was always jealous to watch and read reviews where someone would go on about the 8-9 flavors they tasted in the stick as they started and went on through each 3rd of the cigar.

 

As I started, I felt that it did not have a great smoke output, compared to others I’ve tried. ¬†It had a strong tobacco taste with plenty of pepper in the first third. ¬†And in the first to second third I could taste an undertone of vanilla. ¬†That’s about it, nothing impressive compared to what I’ve seen others say about cigars.. but I’m pretty happy that I could clearly identify the pepper and even the vanilla. ¬†Even more pleasing was to look up reviews and find that they described the stick about the same as I did. ¬†“Rich tobacco,” “good pepper kick,” and “faint vanilla undertones” were all used in description of the stick. ¬†The only parts I differed on were that others said it had good smoke output, but described it as a “slightly firm draw,” so perhaps that’s what also causes me to believe it had much less smoke than I’m used to.

 

Either way, what a great way to end a good or horrible day. ¬†It’s nice on a good day, and just utterly relaxing and wonderful on a stressful, horrible day. ¬†Sitting back with a nice long cigar, a good whiskey (Er.. Rebel Yell… not really a good whiskey, but pretty good considering it only costs about $8. ¬†I can’t afford to drink nice whiskey often, you think they pay regular workers* in retail decent money?), and listening to an awesome blues, guitar, and rock station on Pandora is an amazing end to anyday.

 

I definitely recommend checking out some Joe Bonamassa during times like that. ¬†I’ve never listened to him before, but each song that shows up on Pandora has been incredible and relaxing (not to mention 7-10 minutes long… which is good if you’re going to dedicate an hour to a cigar). ¬†“Woke up Dreaming” was the song that showed up that night, and I wasn’t let down one bit.

 

*Regular workers as in “not managers” and not the store manager.

Asking for help

At work now, this happened just a few hours ago.

Usually when you need help, you ask for it. This is preceeded by, “sir,” “excuse me,” “hello,” or some form of greeting. Not always. If you are less polite it would be just, “Can/could you help/show me-.” Perhaps you are¬† bit rude, in this case it comes out more like, “Where is this / show me this!” Usually all of these are spoken with a tone matching that of a question.

Not today, not this lady.¬† She isn’t one bound by tradition, grammar, or common sense. I was standing in the aisle, putting merchandise on the shelf. Suddenly she marches up behind me and exclaims “IRONS!!!” She stood with her face LITERALLY less than a foot from mine, bug eyed and crazy faced.

Of course I went and showed her where the irons were (about 10 feet away), but damn if I didn’t want to react like I thought I was being assaulted. Or even just confused that someone decided to approach me and yell that.

I would suggest this lady needed a class in Manners 101… but that may be a little too complicated for her. Perhaps they offer something along the lines of Intro to Manners 027. Manners for Beginners 001.

So today I went to the grocery store for a few various things.

 

Upon pulling down my usual aisle (I am a creature of habit), I notice someone driving down the middle of the lane towards me, if not a little in my lane.  I go ahead and start moving my vehicle to the right to give this person who, apparently owned the whole lane, room to drive past me.  I have to stop as they slowly start moving towards me and block me from moving forward.

 

I wait a few seconds, and the person actually mouths: “Move out of the way” at me. ¬†What? ¬†Here I am, so far to the right that I’m actually IN PARKING SPACES BEHIND PARKED CARS and this person wants me to move over when all they have to do is move their car to the right by about a foot. ¬†I end up pointing at the space wide enough for two cars to my left and yell back: “MOVE OVER YOU DUMBASS” and they finally drive off a moment later.

 

I feel sad that this isn’t some rare event, but something that happens about once a week. ¬†Granted, I usually only have to deal with it at the mall where everyone goes to worship their shopping god.

 

#getidiotsofftheroad

Cigar list

Just a list of various cigars I’ve seen reviews for that I would like to try. ¬†This is more for me than the reader, so that I can access it via my phone elsewhere easily. ¬† If I include a price, it’s because my note has the MSRP (or at least what I found it listed at on online stores) listed as. ¬†This may not be the price in cigar shops (Hell it could be half of it with how they like to mark things up sometimes).

Note: Bold means I bolded it in my notes… assumably because I loved the review

Note2: Some prices were sales at the time.

  • Epicurian AG Cigar
  • Oliva Vindicator Robusto (20 = $60)
  • Illuisione MJ12 Toro Gordo Maduro (note: seems ok)
  • Tabacos Baez Serie H Robusto (5=~$35)
    (cheaper option: SF Robusto*)
  • Corona Cigar Company 10th Anniversary Tres Capas Phatt Belly (~$7)
  • Gurkha Monogram Torpedo Cigar (5=$15, 10=$25)
  • Toro y Leon Habano Claro Dorado No. 2 Torpedo ($6.72)
  • Joya De Nicaragua Dark Corojo Antano ($9)
  • Joya de Nicaragua Dark Corojo El Martillo ($7.75)

Also, for whenever I am next in a JR Cigar Outlet (rare), JR alternatives I have seen recommended:

  • Cabiguan Guapos JR
  • JR Montecristo #1 Cuban Alt
  • Jose Marti Sumatra Robustos
  • Ultimate Cabinet
  • Ramon Allones
  • Casa Blanca

*SF = Short Filler. Means the tobacco use was more or less some scraps of the tobacco they normally use. ¬†I saw someone mention that the Tabacos Baez SF was better than some other company’s premium cigars… which is why I list it and would consider trying it as well.